We’ve officially declared war on the enemy forces that now occupy the plant beds in our back yard. We're calling it operation Yard Wars. The ever growing population of Bermuda grass has banded together with every weed known to man to create an unimaginably invasive force. Fortunately, we’re ready to do whatever it takes to annihilate them, even if it means sacrificing the innocent.
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| Staging area for the first of many attacks. |
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| The once peaceful "back bed". |
The first of many attacks was launched last Saturday morning against the very back bed, also known as “the back bed”. Once co-occupied by a group of peaceful Hibiscus and Plumbago plants, it’s now a haven for the enemy. With its “iron fist” mentality for governing plant beds, it’s managed to choke out 90% of the Hibiscus and Plumbago population. The remaining 10% has become a casualty of war. Remember, we’re after complete annihilation here.
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| The front lines. |
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We had to systematically remove the “friendlies”, roots and all, in order to get at the opposition. With the friendlies out of the way we were able to strike a devastating blow to the bad guys. Our weapon of choice, the infamous self propelled Snapper tank. With the tank we were able to cut their forces down by 60% or 70%. Some might even say that we literally “mowed them down”. Either way, we let them know who’s in charge.
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| The self propelled Snapper Tank. |
We did end up with a few hostages though. Don’t worry, they were properly handled. We bound them up with twine and tossed them in a holding cell until the bureau (Manatee County Waste Management) can pick them up.
Our next attack will happen within the next few days. It will be a surprise attack of the “chemical warfare” nature. We plan on flying low over their camps and rounding them up with a chemical specifically designed to “Roundup” enemies of this type.
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| Chemical Warfare. |
We can't take all the credit for this successful attack. We did have an ally. Her name: General Dottie Pottie of the Miniature Daschund Brigade (pictured below). Her responsibilities were to quickly control any uprising of the local lizard resistance.
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| General Dottie Pottie Glancing at the camera during a heated battle. |
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| The Aftermath of Operation "Yard Wars" |
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| Aftermath of Operation "Yard Wars". |
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| Location of the former "Front Lines". |
Stay tuned for the next war report.
